The Corbomite Maneuver

This episode has only two problems: the end and how it gets there.

The Enterprise is cruising along, minding its own business, when suddenly it’s being followed by a colorful, spinning cube. After maneuvering to shake it off without success, Kirk decides in the spirit of the Prime Directive to shoot it. Naturally it turns out to be an advance scout for a much larger and more powerful alien ship.

Our heroes swiftly find themselves in the grip of Balok, a spooky-looking alien who via telescreen announces his intention to squish the Enterprise like a bug. Kirk tries the old “we come in peace” line, and naturally Balok calls bullshit on him. Picking a lie less obviously contradicted by recent events, the Captain tries telling his foe that the Enterprise is packed with something called “corbomite” that will blow both ships to kingdom come if the hull is breached. Oh, and there’s no record that this crap exists because it’s a secret weapon.

Somewhere in the back of my mind the tiny voice of Dr. Strangelove speaks up, pointing out that the entire point of such a device “is lost if you keep it a secret. Vy didn’t you tell the vorld, eh?” Public corbomite would be a rattlesnake rattle, a red hourglass on a black spider, a highly effective “don’t tread on me” measure. Private corbomite – assuming the stuff existed at all – ensures only the cold comfort of knowing that you’ll take your opponent with you when you go.

Proving that he isn’t exactly the brightest star in the sky, Balok falls for the bluff. He detaches a smaller ship and takes the Enterprise in tow. In the ensuing tug-of-war, Balok’s ship is badly damaged. An away team beams aboard to offer assistance only to discover that the Balok they’ve been talking to is a puppet. The real guy is a very young Clint Howard who talks with Vic Perrin’s voice. He offers the crew an adult beverage called Tranya and explains that he kidnapped the ship because he’s lonely and wants attention. So a crewman stays behind to pay attention to him, and the show draws to an end.

The length of this episode demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt that ten minutes’ worth of story can be stretched to 48 minutes’ worth of episode, and it’s a watery mess before it’s done. It also demonstrates that Howard looked even creepier when he was a kid than he does now. Thank goodness we got those two thorny questions resolved.

Episode rating:

Stardate: 1512.2

Episode type: Powerful alien

Written by: Jerry Sohl

Original air date: November 10, 1966

Dagger of the Mind / The Menagerie

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